Saturday, April 30, 2011

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Music Review: Master of Puppets - Metallica

        Master of Puppets is officially known as the best heavy metal album of all times. It's the most complete, you've got the faster tracks, slower tracks, epic tracks, ballads, etc. Hetfield's harsh vocals are perfect, Ulrich's drumming is superb, Hammet's guitar playing is fast and heavy, just as it should always be, and Cliff Burton's bass brings me to tears with its beauty. Let's go over each of the songs... from worst to best.

1. Leper Messiah - Fast guitars in a slow tempo, a good song, but not as great as the others.
2. Damage Inc. - The last song Cliff Burton recorded, a good, fast track with a higher tempo, but still not as epic as the others.
3. Orion - This song is the third, because, although it's one of the best, it lacks Hetfield's incredible vocals. This song is a great example of Burton's bass skill.
4. The Thing That Should Not Be - A song inspired by H.P. Lovecraft's Kthulhu Mythos. The song stays with the theme that humanity in the end isn't important in magnitude to the universe.
5. Welcome Home Sanitarium - Takes the same structure of One, it slowly builds up until it suddenly erupts into this epic fast piece and guitar solo.
6. Battery - This song starts with three acoustic guitars, and suddenly turns into one of the hardest, fastest tracks Metallica's ever done. This song has a lot of soloing, almost snarling vocals, and some of the best drumming Ulrich's ever recorded.
7. Disposable Heroes - This song doesn't lie. It starts fast, it ends fast, it has the hardest riff Metallica's ever done, Hetfield screams and screams, plays like a madman, Hammett performs solos beyond your imagination, Burton's base somehow keeps up, and Ulrich's drumming is too damn fast.
8: Master of Puppets - Many of you recognize Metallica's most famous song, Master. This song has an unforgettable verse, chorus, and its melodic bridge isn't easily forgotten either. Its solos are impressive and really this song is the finest piece Metallica's ever recorded, and the best song you can find in Heavy Metal.

        So, I hope that those of you who aren't such fanatics of Heavy Metal find some interest in this masterpiece, as no record has ever been done with such glory, except the great classics like Stairway to Heaven.
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My Thoughts On: The Royal Wedding

        All right, so I'm a guy who really doesn't give a **** about the wedding, but seeing as one third of the world watched it, I should write something about it. First of all, congratulations, Prince William, and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

        I watched a bit of the ceremony and I ought to say, I was impressed. Catherine's dress was beautiful, Prince William showed decor at his best, and the both of them as a couple looked extremely happy together. Prince Harryseemed very excited about the whole thing, and Queen Elizabeth, though seemingly calm, was just being discrete, as you could tell that she was full of hapiness, as she sat through the wedding ceremony.

        The choir was impressive, some of the best vocals I'd ever heard in my life. The musicians played their parts perfectly. Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, executed the wedding ceremony with excellent professionalism.

         There was a threat to the wedding. This group of Islamic called Muslims Against Crusades declared the Royal Family enemies of Allah, and said that they were to do a "forceful demostration". They then abandoned their campaign.

         So, at 29 years old, Catherine is one of the oldest women to walk down the aisle. Queen Elizabeth II took care of the invitations, sending them by fax. This couple looks very happy, and Prince William seems to be made of King material. So, tell me, would you rather have as the next in line to the throne Prince William, or Prince Charles?
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5 Notorious Assassins

        With the Assassin's Creed games, the hype about the ways of the assassins increased exponentially. Right now, we are going to go over some of the greatest ones in history, both modern and ancient. These men have changed the face of history single handed. 

5: John Wilkes Booth
        The killer of Abraham Lincoln, Booth was a confederate spy also considered a renown actor. He conspired with some members of the confederate army, and was the only one who successfully carried out the plot. While Lincoln was first to be kidnapped, but after a few acts of war, and some fury. Lincoln was to be assassinated. He even had a nightmare, a premonition, about his funeral. Booth knew his way around the theater, and found that the guard had left the presidential box. He waited for the right moment, when the laughter would drown out the sound of a gunshot, and fired a single gunshot into the back of Lincoln's head. He successfully fled away.

4: Mark David Chapman
        Some people will instantly recognize this man as the one who killed John Lennon. He went to New York in 1980, planning to kill Lennon. He saw a movie which inspired him and made him snap out of his obsession. He was going to go to a psychiatrist, but instead went back to New York. He offered cocaine to a taxi driver. It took him various days to get to catch Lennon walking with Yoko Ono to his apartment, and when he did, he fired with .38 hollow point revolver shots, hitting Lennon four times. He is currently imprisoned at the Attica Correctional Facility, in Attica, New York.

3: Felix Yusopov
        The assassin of Rasputin, this one's a very wierd story. Rasputin had been previously attacked by a prostitute, having had his abdomen cut with a knife. His entrails hung out, but with surgery, he was healed. First, Rasputin was served cakes and red wine with a massive amount of cyanide. He was unaffected, but had ingested enough poison to kill five men. The men were anxious, as they wouldn't have time to hide the body. Yusopov went and shot his back with a revolver. He'd left without his coat on, and went back to the palace to retrieve it and check on the body. Suddenly, Rasputin springed up, whispered "You bad boy" and started strangling Felix. In that moment the others entered the room and started shooting at Rasputin. After being hit three times in the back, he fell, and started getting back up. They hit him with clubs, and mutilated his penis. He was bound and thrown into the icy Neva River. There, he broke out of his bounds and drowned. He had a bullet wound in his forehead, and the guy drowned.

2: Lee Harvey Oswald
        The killer of John F. Kennedey. While JFK was in Dallas, entering Dealy Plaza, three shots were fired. Mrs. Conally said that after hearing the first shot, Kennedey's hands were already clutching his throat. Here's the description of the bullet that landed on him: " President Kennedy waved to the crowds on his right with his right arm upraised on the side of the limo, a shot entered his upper back, penetrated his neck, slightly damaged a spinal vertebra and the top of his right lung, exited his throat nearly centerline just beneath his Adam's apple, then nicked the left side of his suit tie knot. He then raised his elbows and clenched his fists in front of his face and neck, then leaned forward and towards his left. Mrs. Kennedy (already facing him) then put her arms around him in concern"

1: Brutus
        The most notorious assassin in all of history, Marcus Junius Brutus the Younger was a politician of the late Roman Republic and a friend of Julius Caesar. He conspired with Gaiuss, and other men, calling themselves the Liberatores. The day of the assassination, the Liberatores organized a gladiatorial event. Marcus Aurelius had learned about the conspiracy and tried to intercept Julius, but the senators intercepted Caesar first. Had he arrived while the assassination was ongoing, he would have been a great for for the senators, as he was a war veteran and much younger. Caesar was stabbed 23 times. Caesar's last words were "Et tu, brute? Then fall, Caesar". The aftermath of the Assassination: The fall of the Roman Republic, and the beggining of the Roman Empire.

       So, those are some of the most notorious assassins in history. Each one of these changed history in their own ways. Who knows what the world would have been without them, but really, we'll never know...

Friday, April 29, 2011

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Thor Movie Review

        So I just came back from watching Thor, and I got the idea to tell what I think about the movie. As a Marvel movie, it's one of the best I've seen, with great actors, and a good story. I loved how they mixed Nordic mythology with universal elements, and of course, the Marvel universe.

        What I didn't like about the movie is that they went a bit too hard on the CGI. This literally shamed any Michael Bay movie with that. In some points it just got ridiculous. Also, there could have been a better script, as there were some lines that just sounded a bit off.

        Still, the movie had its good parts. There was action, comedy, and even romance. Natalie Portman's charm served as a reminder of her talent, Anthony Hopkins did a fine job as Odin, though not as good as his more well known movies, and Chris Hemworth blew the audience away with his sophisticated style and godly body (I could smell the steroids from here). I hope that the next Marvel movie's as good as this one, hopefully better.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

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Top 5: False Stereotypes

        Anywhere you go, you're bound to find somebody saying some kind of stereotype like "Emo kids cut themselves", or "That blonde's really stupid", but really, many of these stereotypes are false. Let's see some of them:
5: Native Americans
        Native Americans have both good and bad stereotypes. They're said to be a peaceful race, in touch with their spirits, while it's also said that they're drunkards who love to gamble. Their skin's usually drawn as red, and they're usually depicted as smoking from a peace pipe, wearing face paint, or dancing around totem poles. They're also said to own casinos or be in a family who owns a casino. The same usually goes for inuits.
4: African Americans
        Usually depicted as lazy, cannibalistic, tribal, sporting afros, uncivilized, and un-Christian, mostly because they used to be slaves, working in cane fields, or piling up cotton. Here they're usually portrayed as lazy and good Blues performers. They have another image, for example, the eternally happy Louis Armstrong. There are also the blacks who are afraid of ghosts, the middle aged maids, like Aunt Jemina. More recently, they're portraid as great athletes and good artists.
3: Latin Americans
         The latinos are usually said to be criminals, but it turns out that less than 1% of news stories are about Latinos, when they make up 13% of the U.S. population. They're also depicted as being from one single homogeneous group, without a specified origin. If one is specified, it's usually Mexico or Puerto Rico.
2: Mexicans
        We mexicans are widely misunderstood. Though many of the stereotypes are relevant, they're usually false. Here's a small list: we're usually dirty, wearing a sombrero, riding a burro, sleeping under a cactus, drinking tequila, gardeners, good swimmers, love tacos, are dumb, love soccer, are excellent boxers, have an accent, are illegal immigrants, unmotivated, and have a hundred kids cause we don't know how to put a condom on.
1: Jews
         Ah, the Juden. The guys that killed Jesus. These have many, many stereotypes. They're said to be wealthy, and intelligent. They also have large, hook noses. There's also the Jewish American Princess, said to be neurotic and materialistic. Jew mothers are said to be protective, proud, and controlling. South Park, anyone? Kyle's mother is portrayed as such.

          So, in the end, it's up to you to believe these stereotypes. I know people of each of these races who aren't what their stereotypes say about them. Now that we've reviewed these stereotypes, use your judgement so you can choose to believe them or not.
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5: Cases of Animals vs. Humans

There's a primal instinct in all animals to be protective and competitive of themselves, and that includes us. Read about these five people who could stand off to animals with slim chances...

5: Politician and bear
        John Chelminiak, a Washington State politician, was walking his dogs one night, when a 150-pound black bear suddenly attacked him, springing from a bush. He was taken down, but got up every time he fell, so the bear couldn't get his neck. After a while of fighting, the bear ran away for no reason. His wife called an ambulance and described his condition:
"When Chelminiak first arrived at the hospital, he had nerve damage from deep lacerations to his face, with pieces of flesh and scalp hanging off his head, said Dr. Matthew Klein, a University of Washington Medicine plastic surgeon at Harborview. Chelminiak also suffered a cut on his neck so deep it reached his spine. He had wounds to his abdomen and lower body, and the injuries to his face were so severe doctors removed his left eye."
4: Farmer vs. Snake
        A kenyan farmer, Ben Nyaumbe, was attacked by a python, which coiled on him. During his three-hour struggle, while the snake dragged Ben up a tree, he bit the snake on the tip of the tail to do some damage. He managed to reach for his cell phone and call the police, which arrived on the scene. Ben was injured on his lower lip, as the python's tail was a bit sharp when he bit it. He commented on the attack: "It's very mysterious, this ability to lift the man onto the tree. I've never heard of this before."
3: Kayaker vs. Wolf
        James Zuchelli from Port Moody fought off a starving wolf who had the intention of eating him. The 31 year-old kayaker was setting up his tent on the beach at about 4:00 p.m., when a female wolf emerged from the bushes and started attacking him. He struggled for a bit as the wolf bit him, and drags himself and the wolf a few feet to his kayak. There, he grabbed his 10 cm. pocket knife and started stabbing the wolf in the neck and chest. After a while, it gave up and walked away, bleeding. He called for help and was taken to the hospital Bella Bella.
2: Dad vs. Lion
        Dustin Britton was in a campsite in Wyoming. He ventured a hundred feet away, in his search for firewood. He said:
"Within seconds, I see this lion over 20 feet from me just standing there looking at me. I could see just its head there in the grass, of course it scared the pants off of me," Britton told ABC's "Good Morning America Weekend." Dustin was afraid, but the lion seemed fearless. It came out of the bush and lunged at him. He was pushed back, and started attacking the animal with hischainsaw, aiming for the neck. The lion was later killed by wildlife officials. It was about 4-5 years old, and starving. Britton got away with a small puncture wound in his arm.
1: Drunk man vs. Shark
         This one's for all the guys at the bar. Dragan Stevic was a wasted Serbian tourist at Egypt's Sharm-el-Sheikh who managed to take out a shark that had killed one and injured some other four people by landing on it after having thrown his drunk self off a high dive. Here's what his friend said: "Dragan climbed on the jumping board, told me to hold his beer and simply ran to jump. There was no time for me to react or to try to stop him, he just went for it"..."Dragan jumped high and plunged down to the sea, but didn't make as much splash as we thought he would"...
        He was taken to a hospital to recover from alcohol poisoning. If I landed on a shark I would worry about broken bones and the like, but he'd apparently drunken so much beer that he didn't tense himself up before landing.

        Well, that concludes my 5 Cases of Animals vs. Humans. I hope you learn something from these guys, but more importantly, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. These cases are one in a million.
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What To Do If You're Being Robbed

        Many men believe that the day they'll be robbed they'll spring into action and take the assailant out. This is extremely stupid and under no circumstances should be tried unless you're in some kind of special forces. Just imagine this scenario: There's a guy holding a gun to your head. He's asking for your car keys or your wallet. If you make any sudden movements, he'll shoot without hesitation, and then take your stuff anyways. If you're with your family, he could hurt them too. Don't panic. The best thing you can do is comply, give him your car keys or your wallet, or your watch, whatever, nothing's as valuable as your life is. Once the robber gets away, report him to the police, give them any info they ask for.
        This is a scary experience, so if your children saw you being mugged, they might need help. The same goes for your wife, as women do get strong emotions all the time. Also, to prevent your house being robbed at night, look for a company that can install alarms, so if a robber comes in at night, you'll immediately know. Robbers are usually scared by these alarms.  So remember, don't panic, comply, and immediately call the police.
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