Monday, June 6, 2011

How To: Be A Good Wingman

        All right, guys. You know how the dude code works. Sometimes you'll be asked to be a wingman. Now, what's a wingman? It's a pal that works with you so you can get the chick you want. Now, if you're a horrible wingman, you're deemed a "cockblocker". So, how can you be a good wingman?

        Now, first of all, know when to help your friend. Some guys take turns, for example. Now, find potential chicks for your friend. Now, usually, the hot girl your main hombre wants has some friend. She can be ugly or beautiful, I don't care. They're what we dudes call "grenades". She's a potential threat to your main cabron, so you need to jump on it. Basically, start talking with her so your bud can talk to the girl he wants.
Oprah?



        You've gotta be your friend's personal butler for the night man. If you see something wrong with his face, a booger or something, you let your buddy know. If the girl's got a bunch of grenades, then you've gotta land on 'em all so your friend can have some one-on-one talk with the girl.


Dude's a hero.
         Learn to block. If some other guys are coming for the same girl, distract them, don't let them get to her. Now, your friend's obviously going to be telling some stories. Back him up, and don't steal the girl's attention. You must turn your charisma to -1, that means, do NOT be funny or charming, for the night.

        Do what you can to make your friend look better. If he's being ridiculous tell him. If a girl's out of his league, tell him. Also, and this is very important, boost your cabron's ego. Why? Rejections are hard, but he's got to be in the zone even after various rejections. Of course, if you end up sleeping with the girl then, congratulations, you are deemed an official cockblocker.

Now take your stamp you bastard.