Tuesday, August 30, 2011

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How To: Drink

                   So, have you ever been at a party, and seen a drunk bastard barf on the couch, then sleep on the table? You hate that guy, don't you? Well, I'm going to tell you how to prevent being that guy. Also, Oktoberfest's coming, you're going to want to enjoy it. Of course, everybody knows what their limit is, but you can actually increase it by following these few tips. 

This takes training!

                   First of all, eat a small snack first, and drink some water. I know, you're going to get full if you eat that before drinking, but it's better than drinking on an empty (and dehydrated) stomach. Some people grab bread, spread a shitton of butter on it and eat it. The grease will prevent the alcohol from entering your bloodstream so quickly.

Alcohol + Bread + Butter equals FUN!

                    The water rule doesn't apply just once. For every bottle of beer you drink, drink a glass of water. That way, the density of the alcohol will be less. Just by doing this, you can get another beer into your system. Also, drink slowly. There are guys who love to chug their drinks, but trust me, it's not the way to go. You'll seriously screw yourself up like that, quicker, and with less. 

After a few chugs, you look like this.

                     Also, keep eating. The food will prevent alcohol from entering into the bloodstream that quickly. So, what happens if you go over the limit, especially with all these tips? Well, you're not going to be as piss-drunk as a binge drinker. Also, drink a lot of water the next day. It's the only way a hangover will go. 

Silly dog, beer is for kids!