Sunday, September 18, 2011

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How To: Talk Your Way Out Of Trouble

                   Yeah, so you're already going through the motions at school, and of course, you're going to get into trouble sometime soon. It's kind of inevitable. So, you want to know how to stay out of trouble with charisma? Well, here's what you have to do. 

                    First of all, make sure you know what you can about your rival. Find out if they're religious, atheists, racists, etc., and use that to your advantage. For example, if you got into a fight, and you're facing expulsion, and your principal is very, very religious, you can tell him that you were fighting defending the name of God (Of course, if you're an atheist, try not to make it well-known), and also use words like "misunderstood" to gain a little sympathy. 

Sorry man, where I come from, jackass means "Dude with a huge dick"!

                    Also, flatter the authority. I don't mean for you to call him handsome, but use small compliments, say something like "I know you're a very generous person", or "Your reputation of being a good-willed person precedes you", just don't go overboard. 

Try this if you're a girl.

                     Also don't feel guilty, guilt makes you sound stupid. Think of what your response could be, and anticipate the other person's answer. Also, try to sell it. Don't fidget, blink too much, stammer, or just look nervous. Also, don't lie. Omit facts. That way, they could find out about it later on, but you'll be well away from harm. Don't joke. They won't take you seriously.  Also, have a good background. You have to have people to help you get out of trouble. If you've got a good backstory, you'll be fine. 

Listen to The Eccentric Realist, good peoples of the world!