Monday, October 24, 2011

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5: Most Disgusting Foods In The World

                    All right guys, Halloween is a week away (FUCK YEAH!) and I have bestowed upon me the responsibility to show you the 5 MOST FUCKING, GUT EXPLODING, BILE PRODUCING HORRIBLE FOODS EVER! Enjoy. 

5: Baby Mouse Wine

                   Who's so sick as to even consider tasting this scum of scum? The Koreans. yeah, somehow, these guys decided that putting dead mice fetus(es(?)) into wine would be a great health tonic... Well, if taking it away counts, then, great.

                   Supposedly, it tastes like raw gasoline. That actually tastes better than what it looks like. So, are there any chances that we start eating it in the Western Hemisphere (or anywhere out of Korea, for that matter)? No, I wouldn't really drink anything where a fetus would enter my mouth by accident, I don't know about you guys. 

Thirst quenching.

4: Balut

                   This one's extremely fucking gross. I wouldn't eat if even if they offered me Miss Universe to bang (especially the current one, she's damn ugly). All right. Get ready to puke from the description. Balut is a duck egg, incubated until the duck inside was feathery and shit. Then, the egg was boiled with the duck alive. That's Balut to you. 

Oh, god of the grossness, please, remove this atrocity!

                   So, what's going through people's heads in the Phillipinnes? Insanity, that's what. They're sold at night by street vendors. Supposedly, the bones and feathers give the egg a crunchy texture (SERIOUSLY WTF!) .

No man should accept this dare. This is where honor matters less than life.

3: Jellied Moose Nose

                    Although this sounds sweet, it's actually hellish. Well, everything in this list is. So, they grab a moose's nose, and turn it into jelly. Yup, that's the jelly part. So, yadda yadda, fertility and shit, the means of obtaining it is DAMN WEIRD.

2: Bat Cake

                    This one's kind of hard to make. Grab fruit, fly or fox bats, throw them into boiling water, roast into desired doneness, chop in motherfucking pieces, and make it into a paste with Thai herbs and spices. There's also soup. Although, it's not reccomendable to eat this, as bats carry disease. 


1: Placenta

                    Get ready to die from the grossness. This is possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of, it makes 2 girls 1 cup seem like a kid's show. I mean, come on. For those of you who don't know, the placenta is what is around the baby when he's in the womb, and comes out of a woman after the baby. It's gross just to look at, don't even mention touching it. 

                    Since the placenta is a temporary organ, they exclude it from cannibalism, but god-damn it, that's fucking cannibalism right there! For those of you mad enough to try it, you can make a coctail with 1/4 cup of raw placenta, 2 ice cubes, 8 ox V-8 Juice, and 1/2 cup of carrot. If babies appear in your nightmares... your fault, dude.