Thursday, November 10, 2011

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How To: Procrastinate

                     I'm in exams, so this one's perfect to the occasion. For those of you little fuckers that don't know, procrastination is the act of putting off work until the last second (sometimes even after). Some say it's very easy, others say it's very hard. Well, it's an art, and it does have steps. Let me tell you how to carry it out properly. 

I'm gonna kill the image department guy.

                     You first have to think about the task at hand. Got it? Try to forget about it. The first thing you want to do is maybe do some other stuff, so you can, you know, get that out of the way. Done? Good. You're going to get a snack.Make it one that's hard to make. Now, go to your study area and eat it. Once you're done, go back, wash the plate, and get a drink. Repeat if you're still hungry.

You know, it's just for this little while.

                      Now, you get back, sit down, get ready to work, and notice that your work area is a bit messy? Well, clean it. Yup, clean it. You're going to leave your place spotless. You'll make shamwow look like a towel of shit. Once you're done cleaning, and sit down, you notice something's missing. 

I'm glad that's over with.
                      Music. Now here's the hard part. Shuffle all? Playlist? Classical music? Take your time. Once you're done with that, you can't concentrate, so you turn on the light to make your paper brighter. Too bright? Turn it off again. Repeat until your finger gets tired. 

APPLE, Y U NO USE ORIGINAL LOGO!

                      Now that that's out of the way, you look at your work, see that it's too hard to do in what's left of the day, so you decide to do it tomorrow. Congratulations, you have just become the best procrastinator on Earth (or maybe, you know, an average person). Good luck with finals!

This is the future I'm giving you... (Less competish, you know?)