Tuesday, May 31, 2011

How To: Perform At A Concert

        Today, in the evening, I will play a concert consisting of only The Beatles covers. More than 300 students will play, and I got the honor of being lead guitar for a few songs. Now, how do you have to act when you play a concert?

         First of all, have fun. If you don't have fun, your music won't have feeling at all, so enjoy. If you want to dance, dance, as long as you don't interrupt your part. Move around the stage (Unless you're a backup singer, just dance. Same goes to the drummers), and simply, enjoy. 

         Do not try anything stupid. There was this concert where I tried to play a guitar solo with my hands the other way around. What happened? I screwed it up. So, do not try anything stupid if you haven't practiced it. I've seen guys try to jump off the stage, do something syncronized, etc. Don't. 

        Know your audience, and interact with them. If you're playing for a bunch of parents, then don't do dirty dance moves and signals. If you're playing for a bunch of teenagers, then feel free. If you're playing for the elderly, then I feel sorry for you. In my case, we're playing for a bunch of parents and uncles and stuff, so I'd suggest to go crazy, but not too much. 

        So, in the end, it's all about having fun and doing your part. If an emergency rises up, for example, a guitar string breaks, play it casually, as if nothing happened. There's a reason you have a backup guitar player. My drummer, for example, has a few spare drum sticks lying around just in case. Singers, if you screw up, then just keep singing. If the rhythm is lost, then somebody, for the love of God, start it again. The key is not to panic. 

        Well, that's kind of it. Not much to it. Of course, pyrotechnics and all, steer clear of them. You don't want to end up like James Hetfield (Metallica's lead singer, burned his whole arm), so be careful. Just have fun with it and you'll get through. 

Monday, May 30, 2011

5: Deadly Martial Arts

        I'm an avid fan of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), and, though these martial arts can't be used to their full potential, outside the ring they're the most brutal forms of combat you can find. I'm going to tell you about five of the deadliest martial arts out there.

5: Sambo


Fedor may look fat, for a reason. He gives a great knuckle sandwich.
        I love this martial art for two reasons. It's the art that Fedor Emelianenko (a.k.a. The Last Emperor), the best MMA fighter in the world practices. Also, it's made by the Russians, and anything made by a Russian is badass. It was created in the 1920's for one reason only, to improve the Red Army's deadliness in the battlefield.

        It is a mix of Judo, Karate, and local forms of wrestling. The funny thing is how, instead of belts, sambo practitioners are actually awarded titles, like Master of Sports and International of Sports. The art focuses on leaving your opponent crippled in the ground by a combination of wrestling and brute force. What makes this effective is the opponent's size and weight, too, as Russians are huge.

4: Muay Thai


Fighting's a form of art. Look at this man's artistic expression as he feels his rival's rage.
        The martial art of Thailand, I myself practice this from time to time. It is called the art of eight limbs: Right arm, left arm, right leg, left leg, right elbow, left elbow, right knee, and left knee. It's a form of kickboxing where you also get your opponent in a clinch, mainly to hit him in the heart with the knee. This downs the opponent quickly.

3: Krav Magá


Needs more salt.
        The two words literally mean hand to hand combat. Now, what is Krav Magá about? It's a fighting system created in Israel by its special forces, and its objective is to disarm and down the opponent in the least amount of time possible. It's especially effective against terrorists. Many armies around the world use their own variation of Krav Magá, recognizing its true potential.

2: Boxing

Screamed to death.

        Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Although many people would argue, boxing is one of the most telivised martial arts, and is really effective. Why? Because other martial arts require you to slowly beat down your opponent. But then, knockout strikers like Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson could knock a man off his feet and mind in one single punch. Imagine the usefulness of that skill.

1: Jiu-Jitsu


        Jiu-Jitsu is the most effective martial art in MMA. More than Krav Magá, Boxing, Sambo, you name it. It places emphasis on throwing, locking, choking, and many moves that quickly immobilize an oppenent. Now, how effective would this be in the streets? Let me explain.

        It's hard to get out of a hold. Any hold. Especially if your rival's trained well. Now, Jiu-Jitsu places a lot of emphasis on training regularly, so there's that. Now, they have holds that can leave you paraplegic for the rest of your life, for example. Imagine going out, looking for a fight and then never being able to walk again. Be careful, especially if you use a lot of momentum when fighting, which is their greatest weapon.

+ Useless Martial Arts

        Although these two martial arts are great for olympic events and discipline, I've never seen somebody skilled in Tae Kwan Do or Karate beat down somebody who could actually box. Why? They place emphasis on kicks and open palm strikes. Kick as fast as you will, a good old punch will be faster than a kick any day. Or an elbow strike. In fact, just tackle the hell out of someone kicking you and he'll definitely stay on the ground. So, if you want to survive the streets, don't go for these two martial arts. You'll end up killing yourself.

Why Guys Hate Justin Bieber

        A man who is respected is a man who can achieve things for himself, mature, with a strong, hard voice, and most of all, masculine. You girls may love a man with a feminine side, but we men saw that Justin Bieber went way too far. Boys hate him too but they don't know why. Let me explain why we don't like him that much...

        The first thing we noticed was his voice. I remember the first time I heard him on the radio, I couldn't decide whether I was hearing some new tween star or Selena Gomez or something. True story. I really though it was a little girl. Then I heard: "This is the new song by Justin Bieber...". At that moment, I thought: "What the hell is Justine Bieber, and why didn't they say Justine?"

        I was later informed that Justin was in fact a guy, and that he was a year older than me. I couldn't believe it. How can somebody that old not hit puberty? I thought it would pass, then suddenly he became famous with that dreaded song: Baby.

        Don't get me wrong, the guy's got a voice on him, it's just a voice I'd expect to hear from a girl, let alone a kid. What happens is that it gets annoying after a couple of verses. Add in the fact that the guy still looks like a small kid and you've got a mind melter. Especially if radio stations play his music all day.

        Now, many girls say we're jealous. Yeah, I'd like to have a bunch of millions, know Kim Kardashian and date Selena Gomez, but that's not the point. What gets many guys angry is the fact that a more manlier fellow should have all that. You know, somebody who's not famous for looking cute like a ten-year-old and sounding like a girl.

        You girls will start saying that we guys are taking stuff too personal, but no, i'm sorry to say it but his music is just stupid. Sure, he's got great choreographers and was produced by Usher and sh*t, but in reality it's not something to get that hyped about. Well, that's it for today. If you're liking the content of my blog, and have a gmail account, then follow the blog so you can get updated on its new posts. Have a good one.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Why The Beatles Are The Greatest Band Of All Time

        Ah, The Beatles. I have an upcoming concert, where I'm going to pay tribute to them. It gave me the idea of writing this small article for them. Many bands have tried to be as good at them, many have failed (Oasis). Nobody can live up to them. Not even Elvis, The Rolling Stones, Hendrix, it's impossible. There will never be a band as good and successful as The Beatles. Let me give you a few reasons why.

        In the week of April 4, 1964, The Beatles occupied the first five positions in the Billboard Top 100 Chart. No band has ever done this. Also, they have sold, to the present day, more than 1 billion records. They were Top 1 in Billboard for the longest time ever, 31 years and 51 weeks. They have 16 of the 100 best tracks ever, and 7 of the 100 most succesful albums in history.

        These guys were pioneers. They were the first to use feedback in "I Feel Fine". (The beginning of the song.) "A Hard Day's Night" has an opening chord many people are still trying to figure out. Sargeant Pepper is arguably the best album of all time. Paul McCartney dreamed the song "Yesterday". This one is of my favorites: "Helter Skelter" and "I Want You" are two of the first heavy metal songs.

        They did much, much more, and everything they did, all was accomplished in seven years. Top that, Oasis! So, you have to admit, the Beatles was a phenomenon. There never was, and never will be something like the Fab Four.

        Still, many people don't need all of these statistics to see that they're the best band. Songs like I Want To Hold Your Hand, Strawberry Fields Forever, Girl, Across The Universe, Yellow Submarine, Help!, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, Twist And Shout, She Loves You, All My Loving, Something, Good Day Sunshine, Eleanor Rigby, Let It Be, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, and, of course, Hey Jude, there's no way to believe that there's a better band out there than The Beatles.


Friday, May 27, 2011

How To: Survive The Wilderness

        All right, so summer's just around the corner, and many guys are going camping. Many men and women have went to the wilderness to go relax, but my times, they get a tough time. Why? Because they're not used to it. So, just read this, you know, if you don't wanna get in some goddamned trouble with Mother Nature.

        First of all, bring a backpack with everything you need. A tent, a couple of knives (in case one gets lost), rope, flashlights, flare gun, cell phone, food, water, antivenom, band-aids, magnifying glass (to build fires), towel (to cover your head if you're exposed to the sun a lot, sunglasses, and if you can find one, a guide to all the plants and small animals in the region.

        Now, if you're going to stay for a few days out in the wild, then you need to be able to protect yourself. Build a shelter out of sticks and rope so you can sleep in there. If you run out of food, then look for a fruit-bearing plant, and if you can, kill a small animal. Build a fire and eat it (of course, don't eat stuff like the bile, you can get sick from that) and read your field guide for poisonous plants and animals. Why? So you don't run into poison ivy or touch a damned animal that will leave you wishing for death to arrive.

        If you run into a wild animal, then use the knife for defending yourself. Still, if you run into a grizzly bear, don't do it. Play dead and wait for it to leave. DO NOT CLIMB A TREE, as bears are excellent tree climbers. If you run into a wolf, then be careful, as they're pack animals. If you have permission to use a rifle then use it.

        There are a lot of hazards in the wilderness. You could run into some quicksand. In that case, drop all you've got, especially shoes, breathe deeply (as you'll float better) and if you have a stick, try positioning yourself over it. Don't panic, as it won't help at all, and do slow movements to get yourself out. Why? Getting a foot out of quicksand at one centimeter per second takes as much strength as lifting a medium car. Do it slower. Now, you'll only drown up to your waist in quicksand, but be careful, because if there's a tide, you could drown. Remember, quicksand doesn't suck you in like in the movies, it's just sand with water. Slow movements are best for escaping.

        If a poisonous snake bites you, don't be an idiot and suck the venom out. Why? If you have any type of wound in your mouth, or accidentaly swallow the poison, then you'll probably remain poisoned. Use antivenom to get rid of the poisoning symptoms.

        Now, if you get lost and can't find your way back (which is stupid if you have a phone with GPS) use the flare gun and hope that you'll be found. If you run out of flares, do a smoke signal.

        All right, so the most sensible thing to do if you get lost is finding a stream of water. You will never go thirsty and many creatures go to streams, so you can build traps. Unless there are crocodiles, you might want to move more downstream.

        All right, so this is all I can help with. Just one more thing. Do not, under any circumstance, eat white berries. Well, if you are going camping, then have fun, and follow my tips to be safe. Godspeed.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

5: Well Made Soundtracks

        In the movie world, every movie has to have its own soundtrack. It is a way the atmosphere is created for the movie. Many composers strive to make the best soundtrack, but only a few make it up to the big leagues. Here are a few that did their movies very well.

5: Tron: Legacy-Daft Punk

        This band, known for doing very good techno music, agreed with Disney to make the soundtrack for Tron: Legacy. The music goes well with the visuals, and gives the film this cool, futuristic style. It goes from fast-paced to slow-paced when it has to, and does not dissapoint. 

4: Inception/Dark Knight-Hans Zimmer

        These go together because they are so similar in style. The difference, though, is that the soundtrack for Inception is based on a song. Remember the French song that they used for the musical countdown? Well, that song, Non, je ne regrette rien, by Edith Piaf, is slowed down beyond recognition. Of course, Zimmer adds his own parts to the song, but in some parts, for example, near the end, when you hear these extremely loud trumpets, it is that exact song, but really slowed down. The Dark Knight has its own mention, because, well, you know, Batman. 

3: Harry Potter-John Williams and others

        In the continuing (and almost ending) story of the brave magician, the music has a perfect fit. At first, it was gleeful, which was where John Williams fit in. Then, it started to get darker and more gloomy, which helped a bit with the whole atmosphere suggesting that "all is lost". The rhythms are memorable, especially those from the first movies, and they get heavier each time, which is good. Any good soundtrack needs a hell of a lot of emotion. 

2: Pirates of the Caribbean-Hans Zimmer

         Although the Pirates movies have gradually gotten worse, you have to admit that the music gets better and better. I was impressed with the music since the first film. What I noticed was that each movie had its own theme. For example, the first one was based more around Jack Sparrow, the song about the character. The second movie is based around the song of The Kraken and Davy Jones. The third one is more about the song of Thieves and Beggars, and the fourth one has a Spanish feel, thanks to Rodrigo and Gabriela, who composed guitars alongside Zimmer. Really, the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks are my favorite of them all. But, there is one left that can be recognized by way more people...

1: Star Wars-John Williams

        One of the most dramatic soundtracks, the Star Wars universe could not be the same without it. Like Harry Potter, the music got heavier and heavier with each consecutive film, and some of the new songs are actually pretty great. More music is being composed for the new video games and T.V shows, and really, there will never be a soundtrack as good as this one. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

How To: Make A Rock Band

        All right, so I'm going to tell you guys a bit about making a rock band. Maybe it's not the most professional help you can find, but at least it's worth something. How do I know this? I used to have a band, and though we split, it was because of lack of time.

        So the first thing you do is see what kind of band you like. Rock band? Heavy Metal? Punk? This will help you decide how many members you need. I wanted a Hard Rock band, so I got another four friends, plus a backup or two. If you want something more punk, then two or three friends should be enough; one guitar player, a drummer, a bass player and a singer. Rock? Two guitars, vocals, drums, and bass. Keyboard is optional. Same goes for heavy metal.

        The next thing you do is see what you can do. If you're simply good at managing people around, then maybe you don't belong on the stage. Still, there are some members in rock bands that can manage them, for example Lars Ulrich, Metallica's drummer. If you play guitar and can rock some mean solos, then go for lead. If you play a good rhythm and don't get lost in time (as many lead guitar players do) then go for second guitar.

        Now, for guitar players, assuming you don't play guitar, you will need one who can play solos and one who can play rhythms. They have to be able to sync with each other (I was lead guitar and I could never sync with the other guitar player), and have their own chemistry, asides from the general band chemistry.

        Finding a bass player is tricky, as not many people play bass, and not many are willing to get in a band. Also, he has to play with the style you want. If you want to play heavy, then you need a fast player who plays with thick strings and maybe even picks. You want funk, then find a bass player who can slap it. Punk, then he just needs fast fingers.

         The drummer is the most important part of the band, he's the backbone. If you can't find a good drummer, chances are your band won't be worth it. Why? He keeps the beat, rhythm, mood, etc. My drummer was the best I could grab. Why? Because he knew how to play everything. Punk, rock, hard rock, heavy metal, grunge, you name it. He could conjure up a cool rhythm in minutes, to follow the riff I'd created. He was exceptional, man. You need one who can actually play, and play well. If he sucks, then the band sucks. A guitar player can suck, damn it, lead guitar can suck, but not the drummer. Same goes for the bassist, he has to be precise.

        Now, this one's a bit easier than the others. And still, hard. The singer has to be in sync with everybody, and have good chemistry with everybody. Why? He's the frontman. He's the image of the band. Axl Rose was Guns n' Roses, Jimmy was The Doors, Cobain was Nirvana, and damn it, Ozzy's Ozzy! The singer has to be able to keep his vocals in range, not too high, not too low, never get out of key, be able to run and sing (for stage presence) and write his own songs. Why? You won't feel as good singing somebody else's song, it needs to be your own.

        So, since summer's coming, then you'll have a bunch of time to try all of this. Maybe you'll become a hit, who knows? The thing's to have fun with it. So, go out there, make a band, and see where fate takes you. At least you'll have a cool story for later on, huh?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

How To: Lucid Dream

He just had the most awesome dream: That burger-eating contest he won last Friday.
  
       All right, so you guys will think I'm a crazy f*cker when you read this article, but trust me, it's kind of fun, and hard to do. If you're able to pull this off you've got a powerful mind. First off, what's lucid dreaming? It's the ability to gain consciousness in your dreams. You can use it to turn a nightmare into a pleasant dream, to live a scenario you wouldn't live in real life, for example, a zombie invasion, I don't know, the possibilities are endless.

        So, the first thing you have to do is to be able to remember your dreams. If you can remember them vividly, then you're off to a good start. If not, then it'll take a bit of work, but it's achievable. Every night say a sort of mantra: "I will remember my dream." Every night, little by little, your dreams will get more and more vivid. What also helps is a dream journal. You take any notebook, and put a pen, and put them in near reach for when you wake up. First thing you do is start writing about the dream. Then, when you read it later, you will remember the dream, or at least remember the feelings it gave you.

        If you mastered remembering your dreams, then you need to be able to question reality. For example, if you see a blue dog, don't tell yourself "It must be painted", instead, do some reality checks. In a dream, the laws of physics aren't obeyed, so for example, flip a light switch, and see if the light levels don't change. Read a sign and turn away, then read it again. The text should have changed. Poke a finger through your hand. In a dream, the finger could go through the hand as if it was rubber. Or you could just see them; sometimes you've got extra fingers or are missing some. The one that definitely works but I don't suggest much is looking in the mirror. Why? Because you are definitely expecting to see something on the other side of the mirror. Once, I had a dream where I was going lucid, and I saw a sort of ugly, deformed version of me. The dialogue went something like this:

-What the hell are you?

-I am you.

-Nah, it can't be.

-You wanted to see yourself, here I am, here you are.

        I was gaining consciousness, and suddenly the ugly me pulled me in the mirror and that's where I lost it. What happened there? The subconcious projects your emotions in your dreams, so, I was maybe feeling guilty, I don't remember, it was a long time ago.

        Once you're able to say you're in a dream (While you're in one, don't say it in real life, you'll just look weird.) try not to get too excited. Why? You lose lucidness. Any sort of emotion that you lose control of will make you lose it. You can fly, yes, but don't let your dream control you. Also, don't expect seriousness from people in your dreams. They can do the weirdest things sometimes.

         So, once you're able to be lucid in a dream, what's next? Well, you can explore your mind, have fun, do whatever the hell you want. Still, as I said, try not to get too excited, most lucid dreams last about 5-10 minutes. I've only been lucid twice. Why? While I question reality, I always try to find an explanation. But not every mind is the same. Still, it takes some time to achieve. Like I said, you guys will think I'm a crazy f*cker, but, well, it never hurts to try new things, does it?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

     
       All right, so I saw this movie, which you should know about, and if you don't, then stop living under a god-damned rock. The new Pirates of the Caribbean title, which, though not as good as some of the former, is still good, had me well entertained during its two and a half hours. There were new things, zombies, mermaids, and of course, the infamous pirate, Blackbeard. Oh yeah, and the guys went wild for Penelope Cruz, of course.

        So, Jack Sparrow sets out on a quest to find the Fontana Juventus, better known as the Fountain of Youth. Barbossa is a privateer for King George, and Blackbeard needs a few extra years. Mix that all up and you've got a new movie.Of course, Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley were missed, but their story had ended. Fresh material was needed, and that's where Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane stepped in.

       The movie had its fights, its cameos, and its own parts with their awesomeness. Some good appearances were, for example, Kieth Richards as Captain Teague, and the weird little monkey as Jack. The film also had some mythology, what with the Fountain of Youth and finding the silver chalices of Ponce de León. The mermaids were awesome. Seriously, you dudes will love them. You girls will find some joy with some Catholic character who ends up taking his shirt off to save a mermaid.

       What this movie has different from the others is that the fight scenes, although well choreographed, were not as awesome as the others. You can remember how during the fights something seemingly unrelated could happen and end up happening to all parties, like the giant wheel in the second film. They're still good, but not as good as the others.

        Well, I ran out of things to say, and while it's not as good as the others, it's still a must-see. It's enjoyable, and you can learn a bit about the personal life of the infamous, and one and only, Captain Jack Sparrow.

Friday, May 20, 2011

End Of The World?

        All right, so a bunch of folks are telling me the end of the world is TODAY. So, I decided to investigate about it, and right from the moment I read of it, I knew this was too good to be true. Many guys don't even know why the end of the world is supposedly today. Let's see:

        When God decided to flood the Earth for some reason, he told Noah: "Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made." That's the Bible right there. Genesis, more precisely. When he said seven days, he supposedly meant seven thousand years. Remember the joke?

-God, what's a second for you?
-A million years.
-And what's a cent to you?
-A million dollars.
-So can you give me a cent?
-Just a second.

        Yeah, so apparently, he'd be making a comeback 7,000 years later. If this is true, it'd be interesting to see the Creator in person, wouldn't you think? Since the Great Flood was in 4,990 BC, then supposedly this is 7,000 years later. So let's say that this is true. What about May 21? All right.

        So the conspiracy theorists (yeah, those crazy guys) checked the difference of days between the crucifiction of Christ and May 21, 2011, and saw that the difference was 722,550 days. So, what does this mean? Do the math: 5x10x17x5x10x17. Still clueless? Read the Bible. Five signifies redemption, ten signifies completion, and 17 signifies heaven. The numbers represent the day of redemption (5), the end of the era of Christianity (10), and the ascent to heaven (17). The numbers are doubled for a sort of emphasis on the significance of this. The damn mystery I'd like solved: How the hell do they figure this out?

        Now, I'm a nonbeliever. You might (or will) want to argue with me, but that's not the point right now. The point is that whatever we read through the Bible can't be considered fact, if not belief. How many people believed the world would end in 2000? Remember, I mean no disrespect, but add the uncertainty of the Bible, mistranslations, and then multiply it all by some conspiracy theorists who got the info out somehow, and it doesn't really seem to be something too credible, now, doesn't it? You could bring up Nostradamus. Uh-uh. His predictions were extremely ambiguous. Now, you explain how we survived the turn of the milennia, and this one: June 6, 2006?

        Don't worry folks, you'll live to see the sun and kiss your mommies in the cheek tomorrow. Remember that conspiracy theorists don't usually have it right, why? They tend to overthink things. Don't do the same mistake, and relax.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Rock Band Traductions

        As I was riding home from McDonalds, I had a bit of fun changing some band names from English to Spanish. So... here's a huge-ass list of them. If you can think of something better, put it in the comments. (Credits to Alex for helping me out)

Dia Verde: Green Day
Veneno: Poison, Venom
Mermelada de Perla: Pearl Jam
Templo del Perro: Temple of the Dog
Ira Contra la Máquina: Rage Against The Machine
Alicia Enadenada: Alice In Chains
Jardin de Sonido: Soundgarden
Cabeza de Maquina: Machine Head
Cabeza de Radio: Radiohead
Rayas Blancas: White Stripes
Viaje: Journey
Las Tortugas: The Turtles
Las Piedras Rodantes: The Rolling Stones
Metalica: Metallica
Megamuerte: Megadeth
Matador: Slayer
Pistolas y Rosas: Guns n' Roses
Garantía: Warrant
Miguel Jackson: Michael Jackson
Pistolas de Los Angeles: L.A. Guns
Revolver Roja: Velvet Revolver
Pantera: Pantera
Angel Mórbido: Morbid Angel
Cadaver Canibal: Cannibal Corpse
Quimera: Chimaira
Sacerdote Judas: Judas Priest
Doncella de Fierro: Iron Maiden
Matanza: Slaughter
Casa de Fuego: Firehouse
Hijos de Bodom: Children of Bodom
Las Convulsiones: The Strokes
Trabajo Para Un Vaquero: Job For A Cowboy
Cordero de Dios: Lamb of God
Resbala Nudo: Slipknot
MC Martillo: MC Hammer
La Caida del Martillo: Hammerfall
Deseo Nocturno: Nightwish
Helado de Vainilla: Vanilla Ice
30 Segundos A Marte: 30 Seconds To Mars
Seiss A.M.: Sixx A.M.
La Granga de Hormigas Alienígenas: Alien Ant Farm
La Sociedad de La Etiqueta Negra: Black Label Society
Elote: KoRn
Extrangero: Foreigner
Extremo: Extreme
Trescientos Once: 311
Tres Puertas Abajo: Three Doors Down
Cachetada de Dios: Godsmack
Exodo: Exodus
D Tenaz: Tenacious D
Caja de Velas: Candlebox
Cicatrizes en Broadway: Scars On Broadway
Anihilador: Annihilator
Tendencias de Suicidio: Suicidal Tendencies
Avión Jefferson: Jefferson Airplane
Esclavo de Audio: Audioslave
Los Siete Avengados: Avenged Sevenfold
Apuro: Rush
Herramienta: Tool
Color Viviente: Living Colour
El Volta En Marte: Mars Volta
La Cucaracha Papá: Papa Roach
Calabazas Reventando: Smashing Pumpkins
Ganzo: Zwan
Mosca de Alma: Soulfly
Reina: Queen
Rancio: Rancid
B.E.S.O.: K.I.S.S.
Revientaboca: Smashmouth
Sobreviviente: Survivor
Escorpiones: Scorpions
Musa: Muse
Peleadores de Foo: Foo Fighters
Golpe de Muerte de Cinco Dedos: Five Finger Death Punch
Gorilas: Gorillaz
Britney Lanzas: Britney Spears
Demi Labata: Demi Lovato
Mariposa de Hierro: Iron Butterfly
Roberto Dyllan: Bob Dyllan
Cabeza de Cubeta: Buckethead
Incubo: Incubus
Mi Sangriento Valentín: My Bloody Valentine
Mi Romance Químico: My Chemical Romance
Plan Simple: Simple Plan
Pilotos de Templos de Piedra: Stone Temple Pilots
Cabeza de Motor: Motorhead
Peturbado: Disturbed
Chocolate: Eminem
Marica: Justin Bieber
Violent Femmes: Mujeres Violentas
Hueso de Pescado: Fishbone
Sistema de un Abajo: System Of A Down
Tercer Ojo Ciego: Third Eye Blind
ZZ Arriba: ZZ Top
Los Quien: The Who
Si: Yes
Fuego y Hielo: Fire and Ice
TuTambien: U2
Muñecas de Nueva York: New York Dolls
El Terciopelo Subterraneo: Velvet Underground
Policía: The Police
Aguijón: Sting
Morado Profundo: Deep Purple
Matanza de los Dioses: Deicide
El Principio: Genesis
Credo: Creed
Pistolas de Sexo: Sex Pistols
Marilin Menson: Marilyn Manson
Las Aguilas: The Eagles
Modo Depeche: Depeche Mode
El Choque: The Clash
Mastodonte: Mastodon
Frijoles de Ojo Negro: Black Eyed Peas
The Strokes: Las Rayas
Moby: Moby
Vibora Blanca: Whitesnake
León Blanco: White Lion
Bailando: Danzing
Reinas de la Era De Piedra: Queens of The Stone Age
Los Asesinos: The Killers
Chiles Rojos Picantes: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Cenicienta: Cinderella
Sabado Negro: Black Sabbath
Arcoiris: Rainbow
Gracia de Destino: Destiny's Grace
Destino de Piedad: Mercyful Fate
Rey Diamante: King Diamond
Niño Piedra: Kid Rock
Sharon Piedra: Sharon Stone
Los Escarabajos: The Beatles
Iglesia Metalera: Metal Church
Infiernoween: Helloween
Tierra Congelada: Iced Earth
Juego Frío: Coldplay
Changos Árticos: Arctic Monkeys
Niños de Tiendas de Mascotas: Pet Shop Boys
Pequeño Wayne: Lil Wayne
Kanye Oeste: Kanye West
Rubia: Blondie
Testamento: Testament
Tres Días de Gracia: Three Days Grace
Espalda de Niquel: Nickelback
Orden Nueva: New Order
Enlazando Parques: Linkin Park
Los Hermanos Todohombre: Allman Brothers
Los Sapitos: The Toadies
Zombie Blanco: White Zombie
Hechizo Lunar: Moonspell
Jaime Come Mundo: Jimmy Eat World
E.L.: H.I.M.
Niños Bestias: Beastie Boys
Los Viajantes Azules: Blues Travelers
Hongo Infectado: Infected Mushroom
Ateo: Atheist
Surfeadores del Trasero: Butthole Surfers
Alma Colectiva: Collective Soul
La Banda de Carlos Daniel: Charlie Daniels Band
Truco Chafo: Cheap Trick
El Clima Muerto: The Dead Weather
Reloj de La Muerte: Dethklok
Europa: Europe
Fe No Más: Faith No More
Se Cayó Afuera El Niño: Fall Out Boy
Dedo Once: Finger Eleven
VuelaHoja: Flyleaf
Sin Duda: No Doubt
Ahuevo: Hellyeah
Pose de Payasos Locos: Insane Clown Posse
Principe: Prince
Jaime Hendrix: Jimi Hendrix
Montaña: Mountain
Vaquero Nocturno: Night Ranger
Clavos de Nueve Pulgadas: Nine Inch Nails
Leopardo Sordo: Def Leppard
Asalto Nuclear: Nuclear Assault
Oasis: Oasis
OK Vete: OK Go
Las Hadas: Pixies
Los Ramones: The Ramones
Di Lo Que Sea: Say Anything
Hermana Torcida: Twisted Sister
Mamá Lobo: Wolfmother
Bruja Esqueleto: Skeletonwitch
Juventud Sónica: Sonic Youth

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

5: Ghost Sites In Mexico

        Mexico is a country where folklore gets around a lot for some reason. You'll hear legends about wraiths, stories about demons, and so on, and of course, people want proof, so you grab some spooky abandoned place. Here's a bunch of places I read about while writing my book.
       
5: Casa Aramberri, Monterrey


        The Aramberri House is in Monterrey's Barrio Antiguo, near downtown. One day, as Mr. Aramberri was going to work, his wife and daughter were killed by three men who were looking for a chest filled with silver coins. These men tortured the wife and daughter in the dining room. When the police came, the pet parrot could tell the names of the murderers to the police, an example by screaming "No me mates, Gabriel!", which means "Don't kill me, Gabriel!", its owner's last words. Much has happened in the house afterwards, like the wailing of the wife and daughter, feeling their prescence or even seeing them. The couple's room has the portrait of the wife, completely disfigured. There's a tension in the house, felt until you get out, followed by a smell of sulfur.

4: Museo de Las Momias, Guanajuato

        The owners of a cemetery charged people rent to bury their loved ones. And keep them there. Those who couldn't or wouldn't pay would be dug up and put on the exposition. The soil and humidity let these people become mummified. There are babies, pregnant women, and many others. They had to close off a portion of the museum because the mummies were played with, given cigars and wigs. There have been cries of babies, and a "tall lady".

3: La Calle del Truco, Guanajuato



        Once again, in Guanajuato, people who live around the street say that they see the shadow of a man,
one named Don Ernesto. He stops in front of a door and knocks three times. A shriek is then heard. He walks in. It's the Game House, where the richest men in the city go to gamble, where the men play big. It was a bad day for Mr. Ernesto, as he lost four of his most valuable properties. He'd never been so nervous. His rival told him that he had one object of value left, and that he could bet it for his fortune. He accepts. So the game goes, and in the end, he loses. He felt horrible, he had the worst feeling he could ever have. He'd bet his wife. The man's rival was Lucifer. That's why the place is called Trick Street.

2: Veracruz, Yucatán, Tabasco



         Here, a type of spirit known as the "Chaneque" appears from the forests who lures children to the forest. Once a group of men started a hunt for them, and one claimed he had them cornered, and when he was going to catch them, one shot a beam to his truck and burned it down. These are actually mesoamerican mythological gods, said to measure one meter of height, others say they're gnomes, others say they're kids.

1: La Llorona, Most of Mexico


This is the least scary image I could find.

        Ah, La Llorona. The most infamous of Mexican legends. She's known in many other countries as well, and many have their own versions. You're not Mexican if you don't recognize her wail: "Ay, mis hijos!" Most people say that she's in Mexico City, so that's going to be our setting. She's supposedly the Malinche, the interpreter of Hernan Cortez, who she was kind of in a romance with. Here, three children were born. When she wanted to marry Cortez, he rejected her, and married a high-status Spanish dame. She was devastated, and drowned her three children in a river. Then, being desolate, commited suicide. It's said that God rejected her from Paradise and told her to look for her children, then go back. So she comes back, searching. At eleven o'clock, nobody is to go out, or else she's going to appear. She's heard around in the Plaza Mayor, also known as the Zocalo. Those who looked out the window saw a woman in white, skinny, who disappeared in lake Texcoco. In Chile, she's known as the Pucullén, and is said to cry for those who have lost a family member, so they can be comforted, and guides the dead to the afterlife.

        So, that's all I got for now. If you're liking what I'm writing about, then follow the blog, so you can get updated on what I'm writing. Good luck sleeping tonight!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

How To: Speak In Public

        Many times in one's life, one is going to be forced to speak in public. Be it to make an announcement, a surprise party, an assembly, there is a wide variety of circumstances in which you can be chosen to speak publicly, and it's a great experience, but one that's widely missed out because people are afraid of what could happen. Here's a few tips on how to do better in public speeches.

        First of all, don't be nervous and think about the audience's thoughts. Why? This is the prime source the fear of public speaking comes from. Instead, think, for a moment, that anything they say or do won't affect you at all, because in the end, that's really true. Critiques will come, maybe there well be booing, but the best possible scenario is always better than the worst possible scenario.

        Practice your speech and pronounciation. I have seen way too many people go up to speak in public only to get tongue twisted. You don't have to learn the speech by heart. Learn to improvise a little, practice different ways to tell a same thing, and give it some feeling. Also, speak clearly, and do not speed up to finish a sentence. You don't want to vomit words, you want to give a clear message.

        Enjoy. Many people can give a speech, but will screw it up in the last minute because they clearly didn't enjoy it. A speech is said with gusto, of course, depending on the audience, what kind of gusto. You're not going to give a humorous speech for the mayor and you're not going to be the best man and give a serious speech. Know your audience, and in the end, just have fun with it, you'll have a great anecdote for the guys at the bar.

Monday, May 16, 2011

My thoughts on: The Goodbye Prank

        Every year, in my school, the ninth graders do a prank as a way to say goodbye. The teachers don't hate us for it, in fact, for them it's protocol. See, in Mexico we students get along very, very well with our teachers, unlike other places, so they don't really hate us for it.

        There have been some creative pranks. One time the whole generation went to the courts and laid themselves down in the form of a peace sign. Others have done hide-and-seek with the teachers. Others just ran around. You get the idea, it's supposed to be fun.

        It started perfectly. Recess was ending, and we were determined to have a good time. So we started running to one side of the school, if a teacher was coming, we ran to another part, and there was this guy with a huge speaker playing reggaeton, which is very much listened to in Mexico. We literally got around through the whole school, and trust me, it's kind of big.

        Tragedy struck when a few teachers managed to corner some of my friends. They were immediately taken back to class. We kept running, and suddenly the more daring guys started hitting the lockers, throwing benches away, throwing the garbage cans around, and literally behaving like a bunch of punks. Then, some guys had somehow managed to sneak in tuna and eggs, and started thowing them around. That was wrong, vandalism is off limits. I mean, the school is like our second home, we've been here and known each other for ten years. So, after a half hour of nonstop running, we got cornered, and, like the huge, happy family we are, we got screwed so hard by the teachers. They canceled our mariachi the next day, gave us major reports, canceled the eccented students, etc., etc.

        Moral of the story? If you're going to do the prank someday, don't go too far. I had a feeling something was wrong, and I didn't act on it. What happened in the end? I got screwed hard. Even though I didn't take part in the bench and food throwing, I was part of the group, and as such I was represented by the guys who did that, in a way of speaking. Ironically, those of us in the honor roll paid out more than the lazy kids. If you're going to do it, good, have fun. Just, don't overdo it, and try not to get hurt, as there have been years where tragedy struck.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Teacher's Day, The Origin

        Ah, May the 15th, Teacher's Day. Well, in Mexico and South Korea, for that matter. The day many students go to their teachers to give them a small gift, not knowing that their houses would be chock full of gifts later on. My mother, for example, is a teacher, and always comes home with an amount of candy that would put Halloween to shame.

        On October 5th, 1966, there was an intergovernmental conference in UNESCO where they tried to debate about the Status Of Teachers. They adopted the Recommendation that gave teachers their responsibilities and defined their rights. World Teacher's Day is celebrated in over 100 countries, and lays emphasis on the contributions and achievements of teachers throughout the whole world.

        So go to your favorite teacher, thank her for everything she's ever taught you, shower her with chocolates and tell her you love her (you know, in a non-creepy way), because you can never, ever repay something as wonderful as the knowledge bestowed upon you.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

5: Most Gruesome Children's Stories

        Everybody's heard of stories like Hansel and Gretel or Cinderella, but they usually don't know about the story's origins. Many of these were made in difficult times, and were told to children to teach them moreales about not being alone in the woods or to go out at night. Let's go over some of them.

5: Little Red Riding Hood:
        This story was retold and sanitized by the brothers Grimm. The original story goes like this: "A girl with a red hood is walking by the forest. She asks a wolf for directions to her grandmother's. The wolf lies to her and the girl ends up being eaten. The end." There was no woodsman, no grandmother, nothing. The moral was not to take advice from strangers. There are versions in which the "grandmother" prepares a meal for the little girl, which is actually her grandmother. Of course, Riding hood cannibalizes her granny without even knowing it. The Grimm were the first to actually have a woodsman save the girl and her grandmother.

4: Snow White:
        Everybody knows this one because of Disney. The way Snow White was born and named, how her stepmother tried to have her killed and how she found a house with seven dwarfs. There, she bites a poisonous apple, gets waked up by a prince and lives happily ever after. Who the hell wrote this? Again, the brothers Grimm. In the original story, the huntsman ordered to kill White brought the heart of a deer, instead of Snow's heart. The dwarfs were also thieves and robbers. In the end, Snow White marries the prince, and her stepmother went to the wedding. She was executed by being given red-hot metal shoes and being forced to dance to death.

3: Sleeping Beauty:
        A beautiful princess gets her finger pricked with an enchanted needle which makes her sleep until her true love goes to kiss her. Then she gets kissed and lives happily ever after. End. All right, so how was the middle-ages version of this one? In the original, she's put to sleep by a profecy, not a curse. A prince gets into the castle, yes, but doesn't kiss her. Wanting some, he rapes her, and nine months later, she has babies. A baby then suckles a piece of flax off her finger (which was what was keeping her asleep) and she wakes up, surprised. Also, she slept for a full century. Talk about lazy.

2: Hansel and Gretel:
        Ah, the two kids in the woods, with the bread crumb trail, and that witch that wanted to eat Hansel. A good story, with a sort of ambiguous moral. Popularized by the brothers Grimm, it tells the story of two kids who outwit a witch. Hansel was locked in a cage, and outwitted the witch by giving her a bone to touch, and as the dumb b*tch was blind, she thought it was his finger. After a while, she decides she's hungry enough to eat Hansel. In the original story, it was a devil, who builds them a sawhorse so they can bleed. The kids pretend they don't know how to get on it, so his wife demonstrates. In the end, they slice her throat and escape. There were some parallels of this story and the holocaust, though it was written in the Middle Ages. For example, the witch dies in an oven, compared to the killing of the Juden, and the parents' abandomnent of their children is compared to the Final Solution. In another version, the stepmom sends the children to her sister, Baba Yaga.

1: Cinderella:

        Of course, everybody knows this one. What you don't know is that the original one was made about 100 B.C. It's similar to the modern one, except for some parts, like where the stepsisters try the glass slippers on, they cut off parts of their own feet to get them in. Two pigeons then peck out their eyes. They end up living as blind beggars while cinderella stays with the prince. Happily ever after.

        So, we went through some of the most grotesque children's stories ever. So, the next time you tell them to your kids, tell them about the original version, and see their reaction.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

My Thoughts On: The Mosley vs. Pacquiao Fight


        When I'd heard that these two boxing legends were going to brawl, I have to say, I was extremely excited. All night, I was waiting for the fight. The two men had artists singing for them while they were walking to the ring. It seemed like it was going to be the fight of the year.
      
        Needless to say, the first round was all right. The rest of the fight was the problem. I was extremely disappointed, as Mosley didn't do a damn thing. He only kept blocking and blocking. He didn't try to knock Manny out. The fight almost put me to sleep.

        At one point, Sugar Shane even pushed the Pac-Man to the ground, which angered him. Rageful, Pacquiao kept trying to take Mosley down, but the damn guy never let the other one hit him. Really, this fight was an embarrassment to watch. Mosley's a pussy.

Friday, May 6, 2011

How To: Behave At A Concert

        It's a fact: many of the people I've seen in concerts don't know what to do once they get there. This can sometimes lead to conflicts, and trust me, there's people at concerts you don't wanna mess with. Here's a few pointers at how to behave at a concert...

        First of all, you have to be dressed for the occasion. It's good to see metalheads at classic rock concerts, but you're not going to expect a hippie at a Slayer concert right? The same goes to those pink bubble pop princesses, you're going to be eaten alive. If you're going to be dressed like that, go to an Avril Lavigne concert. The style that works for EVERY concert is a black T-shirt and jeans. You can never fail with that.

        Another thing is to treat the concert with the respect it deserves. If it sucks, then boo, man, don't be ashamed, but don't boo in a show where you see that everybody's having a good time; you'll ruin the mood. And that sucks.

        Also, respect your fellow concertgoers. For example, if you're going to be filming, at least give it a rest for a while so the others can see. In fact, just take pictures, it's simpler, besides, the audio in most cell phones sucks. If you request a song, make sure you're damn near or you're just going to annoy the hell out of everyone. If you mosh, do not clench your fists, because you WILL hit somebody, and he'll make damn sure you pay. If you take someone down, please, help him up, lest you want to let him die trampled under the crowd. Also, if you're going to sing, don't sing off key, at least sing in your voice. Everybody will appreciate it.

        If you're going to buy beer don't throw it away, two reasons: It's damn expensive at a concert and you're going to drench everyone in front. Also, don't bring babies or toddlers, it just looks bad. Girls, if you're going to flash, do it quickly, well, if you don't want to be taken away by security. Don't bring drugs, because you WILL be caught. Trust me, people will notice.

        One last thing, just have fun! Going to concerts is about the good times, the people, and the music. Don't see a band you don't like, see the ones you do, those are the ones you'll enjoy! Seeing your favorite bands is one of the ways you can feel true happiness, at least for a while.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Sleep Deprivation

        Seeing as it's 5:00 a.m., the day I go back to school from spring break, and I can't get my self to sleep for some reason, I think it's the perfect time I spoke about the symptoms of sleep deprivation.

        First of all, it's a fact that you'll die of lack of sleep first than lack of food or water. I don't care who you are, you have to get some rest. Now, usually, when you haven't slept for just 17 hours you start functioning like a man with .5% of alcohol in his blood. This is the driving limit in the U.S.

        After a night of no sleep, your motor skills are going to drop, you're going to fall into micro sleeps of 5-10 seconds, and your focus keeps fading and fading away. After a while, you're going to go delusional, which is the starting phase of R.E.M. sleep, which is the one that lets your body regenerate.

        Someone who is sleep deprived will also start having mood swings, laughing uncontrollably one moment and then crying the next. There will be apathy and slow speech. Also, there will be the lack of the ability to multitask. You start forgetting where you put things, and then find them in weird places. If this keeps up for a more prolonged period of time, you can even die from stress. But there's something else, something worse...

        You'll look like crap.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Osama Bin Laden Declared Dead!

        Osama bin Muhammad bin Awad bin Laden, disowned member of the billionaire bin Laden family, was declared dead May 1st, 2011, after an impromptu White House conference. His death had been discussed and debated for about ten years, and finally, the suspense is over. Some hold him as hero, others hold him as a disgrace to humanity. Does it make a difference now? He can't threaten us with any sort of jihad anymore.