Saturday, July 23, 2011

New member in the 27 Club?

Rest in peace, fellow junkie...

                        So, I just got the news that Amy Winehouse just died. At 27. What the hell? She just joined the 27 Club? So, now she's alongside Kurt Cobain, Hendrix, Valentin Elizalde, Janis Joplin, and many other musicians who died at 27 years old. The problem is, nobody knows how it happened. It could have been natural causes (remember the Rev?), overdose, or something else, right now, cause of death is unknown. I'll post again as soon as I find out what happened. 

Friday, July 22, 2011

A Trip To The Capital...

                     So, I just got back from a trip to Mexico City (And a few other places around there). So, what did I do? I'll tell you a bit. The first night I stayed in a hotel near the airport, after which I was taken to San Miguel, and stayed there for a night.

                     There, in San Miguel, were musicians roaming the streets, which I explored. After walking around a bit, I got into some of the circles and participated. The food was also delicious (natural food, which, as a city boy, my body would eventually reject).

                      After San Miguel, I went to Tepoztlán, a small magical town, and climbed a mountain. Why? We felt like it. 2.5 kilometers of stone and stone steps, mud, and more stone. I started sweating profusely, and since there was a bunch of damn trees, I couldnt see how much was left. My muscles ached, I pulled my shoulder, and I was dehydrated. I thought I was going to die. Then, I got to the top and it turned out there was a small "convenience store" at the top. I drank a coke, saw the small pyramid I went up there for, there were a few aadvarks (nasty little buggers, those).

That small stone at the top of the mountain? That's the pyramid.

                      The way down was easier, but it took a sense of balance (which I lack), but I finally made it down. The next day, we went to Mexico City, got a little tour, and went back to Cuernavaca. The next day, I called in sick (Remember I ate natural food). 

                      So the next day (today), I got up went to Mexico City, a few malls, the Museum of Anthropology, saw some Aztec and Mayan stuff (like the Aztec Calendar!), then, a storm came, and we weren't ready. So we double-timed it to the van, almost got pneumonia, and we were dropped off at the airport, and voila, I'm back in Monterrey. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How To: Hike Up A Mountain

                So, hiking is something that sounds easy but is in reality quite hard. I just went to hike a mountain called the Tepozteco, 2.5 km of stones and stone steps at about 50-60 degrees of inclination. It was harder, way harder than I expected. 

                 The first thing you need is the mental tuning. You have to be positive and happy about climbing the mountain. This will give you the will to get to the end. If you go all glum and unhappy, you will not get that far. 

Hell. Yes.


                 The next step is to build up a lot of leg power. I mean everything. Calves and that kind of stuff. Also, you need good body condition, without it, you will have the need to vomit, you will sweat a lot, and you will wish for death. 

                  Watch your footing. I was going up these stone steps, which could be unstable as hell, after that, there was mud and roots, and then more stone. You tripped, you went down a precipice, or hit your head on a stone. You were lucky if you were on mud. You also got to some points where the way up was extremely sloped. You had to be careful. 

Nah, the fall will just hurt a bit.


                   Now, on the way down, watch out, because the fall would be harder. Some lucky guys fell on their bussoms, but imagine missing that. You would keep going, and going, and get trapped. Still, the way down is easier than going up. Just be careful and you will get there in no time. 

Saturday, July 16, 2011

5: Human Senses? BS.

             All right, so you've been told all your life that we humans have 5 senses. Sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. Well, there's actually a lot more than that. Try 11-19. So, what are these senses? We have:

              Equilibrioception. What's that? Equilibrioception is what lets us sense and percieve acceleration, balance, direction, and its organ is in the ears, the vestibular nerve. We also have thermoception, which lets us sense whether it is cold or hot.


You are wise, elephant-san.

              Prioproception is what lets us know where our body is in relation to itself. For example, put your hands behind your back, and you'll know where they are, it's not like they magically disappear. Nociception is what lets us feel pain (damn you!)

              We also have pulmanory stretch receptors, which let us regulate breathing, the chemoreceptor trigger zone picks up pheromones and tells us when to vomit for some reason, we have sensory receptors in the bladder for knowing when you're full down there, and there's a lot more senses we have out there.


I forgot how to breathe!

               So, why don't they teach this to us in kinder? Because nobody would know what the teacher's talking about. So, any time you hear somebody saying "and those are the five senses", correct them. Don't worry, be a jackass, the world will be better with you out there.

So stupid.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Harry Potter Up Until Now (No Spoilers)

                 All right, so I decided to resume the series into a few paragraphs so people who have lived under a rock and have never seen these movies (how the hell can you live!?!) know what's going on. 

I: Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone

                Harry's born, his parents are dead and he's left with his uncles, said to be the worst muggles to have ever existed. Muggles, then, are said to be boring, non-magical beings (like you!). Harry meets Ron (a ginger) and Hermione (a nerd), and they have adventures around the castle, where ultimately Harry meets Voldemort, who had been using a professor to move around. Somehow, Harry wins.

Shit's about to go down.


II: Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets

                This time, Harry and his friends start seeing weird shit in Hogwarts, and decide to lay off the acid for a while. Then, they fight giant spiders and a basilisk (huge-ass snake which kills you if you see his eye directly, you know, Medusa), and Harry kiss Voldemort again. Oh, there's a house-elf around there too.

I iz wiz u gais.


III: Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban

                 The only movie with no mention of Voldemort, and made by a Mexican, starring Gary Oldman as Sirius Black, and everybody else as everybody else. He escaped from prison to raise Harry Potter. Of course, he fails. But he's a good guy. 

We should try this everywhere.


IV: Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire

                 Harry enters the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Hermione starts to look beautiful, and dates a Russian, Ron gets jealous (gingers have no souls), Harry fights dragons, Edward Cullen dies (drinks all around!), and Voldemort is back, now with a body for his own self. 

Getting ready for the ball.


V: Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix

                 Harry wants to join the Order Of The Phoenix, but is too small. He makes his own army, storms into the ministry to look for a crystal ball, and gets his godfather killed. Stuff gets sirius now (see what I did there?) and everybody's tired of this sh*t. 

Who do you think financed Russian Quidditch?


VI: Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

                 Harry finds a book which let him cheat in chemistry (sorry, poisons), and he learns a new spell. Merlin dies and the emo teacher turns out to be the Half-Blood Prince,whatever the hell that means. 

Hermione trying to lower his stress.


VII (Part I): Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

                  Harry goes into hiding from Voldemort, destroys some horcruxes (parts of Voldemort's soul), is in love with his best friend's sister, a weasly gets married, and everybody is happy. Oh wait, life sucks. Nopt even Hogwarts is cool anymore. Stay tuned for the last part of the saga of Harry Potter!




Tuesday, July 12, 2011

5: Things Never To Say To Your Child

              So, for most people, there comes a time when this little pudgy thing comes out of a woman, and this they call a baby. While he grows up, it's important to know what to say and not to say. Of course, there's a lot of parents that don't have time or the will to learn this, so they screw their kids up. They say things like: 

5: Leave Me Alone!

               So, like I said, there's a bunch of folks who don't have the time to rest. This gives you stress, and ultimately, you're going to take it out on someone. So you take it out on your kid. You hear Barney the Dinosaur on T.V., your kid mumbles, starts crying, you've got an important call or something, and it's just a lot of  noise and chaos. It's too much. 

-LEAVE ME ALONE!

               You get what you want. Silence. Then, you see your kid's lips trembling, his eyes getting teary, and he starts walking away. You feel awful as a human, as if eating all those doughnuts wasn't enough guilt. Your kid will stop talking to you completely if you keep telling him/her that, because he/she will feel it pointless to talk to you. Oh yeah, and self-esteem goes down, but I guess you knew that. 


4: You're so (X)

                Day after day, your kid throws his little "unbreakable cup", and spills his juice. As a stressed filled parent, you're not gonna take his crap (literally and figuratively), so you want to stop it. 

-STOP THAT, DAMN IT, YOU STUPID KLUTZ!

                Remind your kid he's clumsy, and he'll program himself to be like that his entire life. Same goes for liars and any defect you can think of. Don't ignore it, but work with him positively, it'll make everything easier. 

YOU'RE SUCH A CRYBABY!


3: Why can't you be more like (X)?

                All right, hateful parent, do NOT, EVER, compare your kid to his brother, friend, whatever. He'll hate your guts. It's not that hard to assume. Haven't you ever been told to be someone else? It sucks, so don't do this to your kid. 

Come on, Ron! Be like your cousin! - Hermione Granger


2: I'll give you something to cry about!

                 Imagine your boss tells you you'll lose your job if you get to your job 5 minutes late. Sucks, right? Or how about that bully that would beat the hell out of you if you didn't give him your lunch money? How did you feel? Afraid? Hateful? Why? He threatened you. You'll give your kid the same feelings, except this time, they can't share their feelings with anybody. 

- MGHMGHMGHGHGHGMHG!
-How do you do that?!?!

1: Great Job!

                 Why is this bad? You're going to praise your kid about everything. This will get both the kid and other people desperate. The kid will think you won't like him for who he is, and others will hate you for giving everything to the child. Yeah, it's hard, but it'll be better. 

You MONSTER!

                  So yeah, be careful with what you say to your kid, you never know how he might turn up to be. Take care of it and love it (but not too much) so he turns out to be a bigger success than you (well, that's the plan, right?).

Sunday, July 10, 2011

How To: Appreciate Classical Music

                Although it's fairly popular, a lot of people can't stand classical music. Why? Well, some say it's too slow, some say it's too fast, others think it's too gleeful, some guys simply want distortion, and some others want autotune. Yeah, that's where music is going. (Unfortunately). 

                So, how can you appreciate this music? Well, first of all, you need to develop a musical ear. You know, tell the difference between instruments, find the beat, all of that. I you're good at dancing, it'll be easy. Same goes for playing an instrument. Once you get it, you can enjoy any kind of music, but it doesn't really stop there. 



                You can make a challenge for yourself and try to remember more composers than Mozart and Beethoven. There's a huge bunch of good music waiting to be listened to, like Brahms, Tchaikovsky, Johann Sebastian Bach, Frederic Chopin, Vivaldi, and many more. You know, there's a variety. 

                 If you like solos, go for music like Vivaldi or Chopin, who make great violin and piano solos (in their respective order). If you like sonatas, hear a few of Beethoven's. You know, find the music for you. After a while, you'll love it, really. 

                 Like I said, don't just go for popular music. Listen to Paganini (who is actually fairly popular, just not as much as Mozart), view the concerts of people like David Garret, you can even listen to Apocalyptica, and Yngwie. In the end, classical music's an acquired taste, but that raised IQ can't hurt, right?


Saturday, July 9, 2011

The End Of The Space Program

                     Friday morning, the space shuttle Atlantis lifted off at 11:59 a.m., marking the end of the NASA Space Program. The 135th mission of the Program left everybody in tears, even people who are usually sober. Launch Director Mike Leinbach threw his arm around a colleague and said: "We'll never see that again."

                     The vessel Atlantis is supposed to take supplies to the International Space Shuttle. As it lifted, there was a small drop in cabin pressure, but nothing happened, as it was oxygen expanding (which happens when you near the atmosphere).

                     About a million people were there to witness the liftoff, some who were there when Apollo 11 launched. Its launch means that there's no way for the U.S. of sending someone to space in years. They will rely on the Russians to help them get there. Charles Boden had a few words to say about this:

                     "Some say that this final shuttle mission will mark the end of America's 50 years of dominance in human space flight... As a former astronaut and the current NASA administrator I want to make clear that American leadership in space will continue for at least the next half century because we've laid the foundation for success. And for us at NASA, failure is not an option."


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Casey Anthony Found Not Guilty?!?

                    I just got the news that Casey Anthony was found innocent of all charges. Caylee, Casey's daughter, went missing and was reported by her grandmother. Her mother didn't report anything. This made everybody suspicious against Casey. 

                    Casey went on a trip to Tampaa Bay, and her father went to visit her. She wasn't there, but when he got to her car, he noticed a strong odor coming from the trunk, like a dead body. He opened it, but there was nothing there. He reported it to 911. 

                     She was arrested after being asked to show her office, supposedly in Universal Studios, to the police. She had been fired years earlier. Her bail was paid by the nephew of Orange County's bail bondsman, who hoped she would cooperate. She was arrested again for various cases of fraud. 

                     On August 2008, Caylee's remains were found. On December 2008, more of her remains were      found in the same area. The death penalty seemed around the corner for Casey. Casey started inventing a nanny who did exist, but had never met her. A lot has happened over the years, and a few months ago, Casey was tried again, and found not guilty, but was fined for providing false info to policemen. 

                     This is much like the O.J. Simpson trial, everyone was surprised at the not guilty veredict. The trial was told by Forbes to be the social media event of the century. It was the most publicized trial in U.S. history. News channels saw their ratings double or triple. Even celebs like Sharon Osbourne and Kim Kardashian showed outrage at the verdict. The judges stated that there just wasn't enough evidence, and that they do wish that there were more, so that Casey could be behind bars. One said he was "sick to his stomach" over the decision. What do you think? Should Casey be locked up or free?


Monday, July 4, 2011

5: Funniest Events In U.S. History

                 Happy 4th Of July! In a sort of dick move, I shall show you the funniest events in U.S. history...
5:

                 Well, I really could not find any funny events. America is not known for being stupid. Now, go ahead and celebrate your independence, gringos! Your forefathers earned it. Well, unless you are an immigrant. Just go with the flow. 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

5: Heroic American Events

               So, as every nation has tragedies and good luck, they also have heroes, which can define a nation by themselves. Today, I'm going to talk about some of America's greatest heroes ever...

5: Boston Tea Party

               The government which controls your land is oppressing everybody and raising taxes. Some imports come in and they won't be sent back. What do you do? You get into their boats and throw their tea overboard.  It was a direct, spontaneous political movement that was around the beginning of American history, and one of the most important events ever.

We want a river of tea!

4: Harriet Tubman

                A colored woman who was born into slavery, which se escaped. She set out on thirteen missions to free slaves, using networks and with the help of activists. She claimed, after being hit on the head with a metal weight, that she saw visions from God. After helping out other slaves, she helped out in the women's suffrage campaign.



3: I Have A Dream

                Martin Luther King Jr. fought valiantly for racial rights, and the most moving speech of all, is the one entitled "I Have A Dream", where he said he dreamt of an America where people of all colors and shapes would coexist peacefully and cooperatively. A beautiful dream indeed. 

A dream within a dream.


2: Rosa Parks

                Imagine you're a colored woman in the U.S. You're minding your own business. You're tired from working all day. A white man comes and demands you give him your seat. You refuse. You get arrested, and subsequently, spark a boycott. This is what happened with Rosa Parks, and she became the "Mother of the freedom movement". 



1: Washington

                 This guy had to be a hero on a daily basis. He'd fight battles as general, and basically kick the asses of the British out. Without him (and his sexy, wooden teeth) what would America be? I wouldn't want to find that out now, would I?

See? He's number 1.


                  That's all I've got right now. 5 heroes. Tomorrow comes the good story, the one with the funniest happenings. So yeah, get ready. Tomorrow's the 4th of July! Get hyped! And bring dip. Yeah. You know who you are. 

Movie Review: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

               So, Friday a friend calls me, wants to see Transformers. Well, what else could I say but hell yes. So we went to the movies, and we found out the film was almost 3 hours long. Ah well, we went in and watched it, and you know what? Every second of the film is good enough.

               Dark Of The Moon is definitely the most action-packed of the three films. Besides that, it's extremely funny, and mixed in the moon landing of Apollo 11 with all the conspiracy you could expect in Transformers.

                The cast was good. Shia LaBeouf was extremely funny, Rosie Huntington-Whitely was damn sexy, John Turturro just cracked me up, Kevin Dunn and July White were hilariously awkward, John Malkovich was something special, and, well, there's a lot I can say about Ken Joeng. Also, the transformers had new, roboty sh*t going down, like worms and shit... It's a must see.

And this.


5: American Events Of Joy

                     All right, so here's my second post, and seeing as I lack an antonym for tragedy, I made up a silly yet gleeful title. So, as every nation has tragedy, it also has small events which make everybody rejoice and unite the people. Here are a few of them...

5: Declaration Of Independence.

                     July 4, 1776. The Founding Fathers unite to sign the American Declaration Of Independence, which declared the U.S. free from the British empire. Indeed, one of the best moments in American history, as it defines the start of the nation itself.



Bitch! You just got served!


4: Model-T Ford

                     The first affordable automobile, the Model-T Ford, becomes available to the general public. This means a revolution in transport, and of course, millions for Mr. Ford. Also, who hasn't seen that classic car? Oh yeah, besides, this also meant the first use of the assembly line.

22 horsepower. Top that.

 
3: Women's Suffrage

                     August 18, 1920. The Nineteenth Amendment, approved. After countless women suffered for decades and decades, a law is passed which doesn't allow women to be discriminated, or any gender discrimination at all, when it comes to legal issues. This was one of the greatest achievements of human rights in all of history.


2: Civil Rights Act of 1964

                     July 2, 1964. Although the Act came off as weak at first, it was the representation of the "end of racism". Yes, it hasn't ended exactly, but it's been extremely lowered since the Act was promulgated. This was like a home-run for Human Rights.



1: The Moon Landing

                     JFK had said that America wanted to send a man to the moon before the end of the decade. Apollo 1 and 13 had failed. Apollo 11 was sent on a course to the moon. So, Apollo gets there, followed by Armstrong's words: "The eagle has landed". Neil Armstrong steps out of the craft, and says his famous words. "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind", one of the most historic phrases ever.

Whatever you do, you'll never be as badass as me.

 
                      So yeah, historic moments, and all, and like I said, every nation has its own happy moments. We're getting near the greatest celebration of the U.S.A., so, get ready for one of the coolest days of the year.

Friday, July 1, 2011

5: Great American Tragedies

                 All right, so the Fourth Of July's getting near, which means I'm going to be writing about the U.S. these days. We will have four stages of emotions. Sadness, Happiness, Heroicness, and then Comedy. So, today we will start with the tragedies. Every country has had its own, and America is no exception to the rule. They've had tough times, such as...

5: Apollo 1

                 January 27, 1967. The first tragedy suffered by the NASA. During a lauch test, the crew smelled weird odors. The cause wasn't found, and the test was resumed. Then, the cabin was sealed and filled with high-pressured oxygen. There was also faulty communication. 

                  The austronauts were reclined in their seats, filling up a checklist. Chaffee said the word "Hey", and reported that a fire had started in the cockpit. Some saw the other austronaut, Ed White, on the monitors, reaching for the release handle, when suddenly the cockpit was engulfed in flames. Then, it blew up because of the high-pressured oxygen. They found the austronauts' bodies, fused with the shuttle. A horrible fate for men who were supposed to travel to the moon. 

I can't really tell if their bodies are still there.


4: Pearl Harbor

                    December 7, 1941. Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. The U.S. naval base is designed for carrying aircraft and a sh*tton of crew. The Pacific Ocean is quiet. It's cloudy and foggy. EVERYTHING'S in black and white. Suddenly, 353 Japanese fighter, bomber, and torpedo planes, later designated as kamikazes were flying above the base, protected by the clouds. 

                    Four U.S. battleships were sunk, along with three cruisers, three destroyers, an AA (anti-aircraft) training ship, and a minelayer. Oh yeah, along with 188 U.S. aircraft. Now, that's just material damage. What about the 2,402 men who were killed, and the 1,282 wounded? This made the U.S. bring it on. Now, the Japs lost about 29 aircraft ad 65 men. That's kind of it. The next day, the U.S. declared war on Japan, which made Germany and Italy declare war to the U.S. As one of the biggest tragedies in the whole world, even Teddy Roosevelt declared December 7, 1941 "a day which will live in infamy". 

A Jap took this one for a Christmas card.


3: Charles Whitman

                    Charles, ex- student of the University of Texas, and former Marine. Nobody knows what got into his head, in August 1, 1966, when he decided to climb a 28-story tower of the university (inside of which he actually killed three of his victims), and got his sniper out. He'd killed his wife and her mother shortly before, in his house. 

                    Charlie, who had lived a hard life, actually had a few psychotic features. That day, Charles killed 16 people, and wounded another 32, until he was shot by Officer Houston McCoy, who was assisted by Officer Ramiro Martinez. Another personal tragedy occured to him a few months before the shooting. He was summoned to Lake Worth, Florida, to pick his mother up. She was filing for divorce.

This one's for you, step-dad.


2: Virginia Tech Massacre

                     A lot of people say that you shouldn't bully people, because they might become your boss someday. Seung-Hui Cho shouldn't have been picked on, as he had severe anxiety problems. He'd recieved special education, and the University of Virginia legally couldn't be advised to give him special privileges. As such, he was once accused of stalking two girls, and then declared mentally ill. 
              
                      Cho used two handguns, a Walther semi-automatic handgun and a 9mm Glock, which is one of the best handguns ever, period. He killed 32 and wounded another 25. This made the first time the government made a federal gun-control measure in 13 years. 

Incredibly, this isn't a fake image.

1: 9/11

                      Undoubtedly, the greatest tragedy in American history, and one of the greatest in history. Everybody knows this story. September 11, 2001. The day that four coordinated attacks by Al-Qaeda members were successful in making one of the greatest movements in the War of Terror. About 3000 victims and 19 highjackers died. The horrible part was the fall of the World Trade Center. 

                      This happened ten years ago, and we will never forget that day, when it was all over the news, and you saw those planes heading towards the World Trade Center. It was horrible to see the smoke, to see everybody running out of the building, and the footage of what appeared to be bricks, and was actually human beings falling from the roof of the building. 

Never forget. Never surrender.


                       So, like I said, every nation has its tragedies, and the U.S. is no exception. Hopefully, in the future, they'll be easier to prevent. It's this kind of event that make a nation unite against a common enemy.

The Final Boss Of The Internet... Failed.

                   If you've ever heard of 4chan, you obviously know about Anonymous. Well, here in Mexico, these guys decided to attack Iniciativa Mexico (Initiative Mexico), a small organization that's sponsored by the media and a few companies. There's a reason they did this: Iniciativa Mexico's stolen a bunch of brilliant ideas, and will possibly sell them back to their original authors later on. How is that? Well, they submitted their ideas, but most of them didn't have the training to get a copyright first. Everything's said here. 
                  So, what happened? Well, yesterday, everybody in Anon got together in an IRC chat room, and tried to use a LOIC (Low Orbit Ionic Cannon) to saturate the broadband the company uses. This is called a DDoS. How did they fail? IM used a bunch of IP numbers, which made traffic go to various IPs. This is called Distributive Hosting. 
                   Yeah, the attack failed, but you can find this video on Youtube where their demands are uh... demanded. They say they don't tolerate the theft of great ideas, and their abuse. In the end, another problem was that Anonymous couldn't choose a leader. They said things like "'Tis better to live one year as a wolf than 100 as a sheep." 
                  As long as they're fighting for good values, then it's good, but Anonymous should try to be a bit more organized next time. Their problem was overannouncing the hack, and giving Iniciativa Mexico a bunch of time to organize themselves too. If you're going to try again, then good luck, Anonymous.