Wednesday, February 29, 2012

How To: Throw A Punch

                     Sometimes, you get to see a situation in which two guys are going to fight and everybody's prompting them to. Also, sometimes, just sometimes, you see somebody land the first punch and then clench his fist in horrible, horrible pain. Why does this happen? Because, if you don't know how to punch, you can seriously fuck your shit up. So, how does one punch?
Observe. This fucker's wrist would be broken by now.
                      First of all, recognize this fact: Your fist, although it may sound ridiculous, is a delicate flower. This means that you do something wrong with the punch, and damn it, you may not be able to use your hand for a while. Here's the deal. There are different kinds of punches, and i'll be sure to explain them all in detail, so you don't screw them up. Now, how does one make a fist? You wrap your fingers on the palm of your hand, and then place the thumb over the fingers. If you put the thumb under, you can break the thumb. Also, your wrist has to be straight. A bit high or a bit low, you can break your wrist. You should be able to balance a book or something on your wrist. Also, keep your fists up, unless you want to screw up every punch and get hit square in the face.
As such.
                       Now, that was just the hands. The first punch we're going to learn about is the jab. The jab is the most simple, and possibly effective punch. With your left foot forward (if you're a lefty), you will throw your left hand forward, keeping the arm straight, and twisting your hip so that the left arm will stretch forward. This punch is used to distract the other fighter from a distance and to get his guard down. If you want to try it with the other hand, it's called a cross, and you have to twist the whole body to get the arm forward. This is usually what follows a jab. 
This will always annoy the other boxer.
                       Another very important punch is the swing. This punch can be very powerful if made well. For a swing, you have to swing your whole body to the direction at which the hit goes, sort of like when you swing at golf. The fist is placed sideways, and is intended to hit the oponnent's chin. You have to twist your waist and if you're punching with the front fist, the front leg should move towards the direction. If you're hitting with the back fist, your hind leg should twist. There's a variant for this called the hook, which is used to hit the oponnent's body. Simply aim lower. 
Swings also make up for the ugliest fucking faces.
                       The most potentially-packed punch is the uppercut. This one's the hardest. Hell, boxers with years of training can get it wrong. If you're going to punch with the front fist, swing your torso so that your right elbow is aligned with your left knee (or vice-versa if you're a lefty), and then lift your whole body along with your arm, to increase the pack of the punch. You have to remember to keep your wrist straight, because this is the punch that usually tends to give you carpal tunnel or something. If you're punching with your back fist, make sure your right elbow is aligned with your right knee (or viceversa), then lift. Hit the fucker in the chin.
Uppercuts make ugly faces too, and not even God knows how that dude landed the punch in the first place.
                        Well, this is sort of it for basic punches, and if you learn to do it right, you won't need the more advanced ones (unless you're getting into MMA and shit). So, yeah, practice, and practice, use bandages and gloves at first, then use only bandages and if you think you're so hardcore as to handle the burns and bleeding, then take the bandages off. And punch a douchebag, I hate those. 
Please do so if you haven't.