Monday, July 23, 2012

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5: Evolutionary Leftovers In Humans


           I suppose that those of you who have studied biology or some sort of medicine know that a vestigial organ is one that is useless. Well, vestigial organs are actually leftovers that evolution has given. For example, a flightless bird, eyes on blind fish, things that don't seem logical. Well, you're not going to find feathers on a mammal, now, are you? These are things that ancestors in the evolutionary tree have left us humans to deal with today: 

5: Tailbone


           Of course, everybody knows that homo sapiens is a primate species that is more advanced than the others in terms of intelligence, albeit less advanced in terms of physical strength and poo flinging. When our ancestors were still hairy, tree jumping apes, they needed a tail for balance, signaling, support, that kind of monkey shit. Once we started dominating all life on earth, though, we lost our use for a tail. 

The possibility that we used to be saiyans is still there.

4: Wisdom Teeth


             How annoying is it that once your wisdom teeth come in, your whole mouth gets screwed? And I'm talking you have to remove teeth, use braces to correct them kind of screwed. Well, our ancestors used to be hervibores, so they needed a few hardened, big replacements for the teeth that they could lose while chewing and shit. Also, we used to have smaller brains and bigger jaws, and our heads have been growing while our jaws have shrunk, while our teeth haven't. 

Evolution gives our dentists jobs.
3: Appendix

Beauty's only skin deep, but nobody's in a hurry to date a sexy appendix.
           Oh, appendix, you annoying bastard, how you serve us for naught but can blow up and kill us. Hell, my brother was about to die from this shit once, they had to remove it. The appendix used to serve us to digest a high cellulose diet. Those who know biology and botany know that cellulose comes from plants, especially leaves and bark. Since we don't eat that kind of shit anymore, well, we don't need the appendix. 

STUPID TREES WITH THEIR CELLULOSE!

2: Third Eyelid


            You know how birds and shit can close their eyes but they're not closed, it's some transparent thing? Well, we humans have that. It's that little pink thing in the corner of your eye. I wouldn't suggest pulling it, but that used to be your third eyelid. 

Who are you, blog reader, and why are you sataring at me?!?

1: Goose Bumps

Oooooh shit, is that Led Zeppelin I hear?
         That cold, dreadful chill up your spine when you either see something fucking scary or fucking awesome that makes your body hair stand up like a cat's is called goose bumps (although you should know that kind of shit). In fact, it is very probable that like a cat appears more intimidating when bristled, we too appeared larger and therefore scared off predators. 

I'll bite off your nose if I hear Justin Bieber again.
So, yeah, we used to be superhumans and we're left with the crappy leftovers.