Thursday, August 2, 2012

5: Human Freaks Of Nature


       You know how sometimes you're expecting your baby to be beautiful as hell, so much that your eyes will go blind because they will never see something as beautiful? Then, you get the ugliest motherfucker you've ever seen? No? Just me? Well, it's happened to these people, and damn, if these aren't freaks by your standards, then you're probably one of them. 

5: Le Bossu

         Anybody remember the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Quasimodo? Although this epynomous character was fictional, he wasn't entirely so. This guy actually lived in Notre Dame and was involved with the cathedral Victor Hugo wrote about. The man was nicknamed Le Bossu, and well, you could imagine how he could inspire a story in the author's mind. 


4: The Mule-Faced Woman

       Grace McDaniels was a woman born with a facial deformity that made her seriously ugly. I'm talking about falling from the ugly tree, hitting every single branch and twig on the way to the ground, landing face-first on the roots. She was considered the ugliest woman in the world. Still, she had a child. Unfortunately, he became a heavy drinker and shit. It's not that hard when anybody could make a yo-mama joke about how ugly she was. 


3: Chewbacca

          This guy they called Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy, actually called Fedor Jeftichew, actually had a sort of canine father as well, who actually went into the wild to live a feral life. The father was mocked his whole life (as you can imagine), and had to work in sideshows to make money. So, he has this kid Fedor and they toured together, until his father killed himself, after that Fedor kept performing. 

RRRRRRR! (Brother!)

2: Julia Pastrana 

          So, we've got a Mexican addition here, this woman was born with hypertrichosis, which made her have gorilla-like features. She had a large nose and ears, her face was covered in hair, that kind of shit. She also had a double set of teeth, which made her mouth look bigger. She also had a husband, who had bought her, and she had a kid with her same condition, which died after 3 days. She died 5 days later because of birthing complications, and her husband preserved her and put her in a glass case to be shown to the world. He then married a woman with the same condition who was admitted to a mental hospital. 


1: The Human Caterpillar

         Not a centipede, which would gross you out, but a human caterpillar. Prince Randian usually moved around in a sleeveless sock-like outfit and was very handy for his condition. He could light up a cigarrette by himself. He's featured in the movie Freaks. That's kind of it.

He loves them smokes.