Tuesday, March 5, 2013

How To: Calm Down


           So, exams are coming, and if you're someone like me, you know that the count to ten then one hundred rule is a load of crap. That's why I'll give you a few methods to soothe yourself before you commit murder. Take note, though, not all of this works for everyone. 

Bro? Just, first just calm - DAMN IT.
             One of the simpler solutions is to take a warm bath, and if that's not possible, at least wash your hands, thoroughly. Why? The feeling of cleanliness will also feel as if it's "washing down", so to say, on all that which makes you angry, so if you're getting especially mad, try it someday. 

Try not to trip, though.

                 Another easy one is to simply get away from everything. Get as alone as you possibly can, and let your steam blow until you're done. Try not to break anything; you might regret it later, but scream and thrash around and do what you will until the rage passes. 

Then tell the sky to go fuck itself.
                One that works is finding water. You're never going to get angry next to a river, lake, or the sea. Don't have one of those? Look for a fountain. The sound of flowing water is one of the most soothing sounds mankind has ever known, and this contributes to the shower's relaxing feeling. Also, drinking it makes you feel cleaner on the inside, which is very important to lower your anger. 

See? Now doesn't that seem soothing?
                  Now, this one's my favorite. Listen to music. Your favorite song, or the one that calms you down the most. Classical music. Heavy metal. Pop music, if you're into that kind of thing. Basically, whatever makes your gears stop grinding. It's possibly the most effective way to stop your anger from erupting, so always carry your iPod or whatever. 

Party.
                  These are all but a few of the many things you can use to prevent your rage from consuming you, but since it's time for partials I decided to make this but a quick fix, so, use it whenever you can, remember that it's simple but once you're raging it's hard to recall how to relax, so take this as a just in case reminder. 

Yes, that's it, now stop looking at me like that.

See? Everything's better now.