Saturday, July 27, 2013

If you like this post, check out my new blog:

How To: Prevent (Or Stop) Weight Rebound

         All right, so you've already done your diet, you've lost weight, you've shed blood, sweat, tears and fat, you're looking sexy, but wait, something's gone wrong. Somewhere along the line you lost it and your formerly horrifyingly jiggly arms are getting jiggly again. Your clothes are getting tighter and suddenly you're feeling self-conscious again. 

Oops. Rebound.

Those calores are bouncing back up just like your  thighs after a milkshake.
       What can you do? Oh, woe is you, what can you do? How can you prevent yourself from being a slothing bag of fat again? You know you definitely don't want what you lost back. It can go fuck right off from whence it came. So, what to do?

No, I don't think self surgery's getting you anywhere good.
        First of all, check what you've been doing differently. Did you start eating something again? Once you've lost weight, it's all right to indulge in a few pleasure-inducing foods, maybe a bit of alcohol, but then, you'll find that you're not gaining any weight, so you indulge again and again until suddenly, your weight's going back up like an elevator in New York.

But this is just the pre-snack!
         At this point you've missed from good food along that you're afraid of committing to a full-on diet again. You know from experience that the only way to do this well is to lose weight slowly. So that's what you're going to do. Let's say, french fries. You've started eating them once a week, which is good, it's acceptable, especially if you're exercising and all, but wait, now you're eating them twice a week. And you wanted to try that ice cream. And that brownie. 

Mixing the three could prove fatal to your arteries.
            But I could eat that while I was losing weight because I was counting my calores, you say, so what then? Well, buster, you lost count, and now you've gotta remember how many calories everything you eat has. Of course, you're not going to apply the same principle of removing 500 calories a day from your diet or anything, so go slow. Go back to eating french fries once a week. If you're going to eat the brownie, don't eat ice cream again that week, or eat ice cream but don't eat the fries. You understand where this is going?

To my thighs?
           If you let yourself go again, your diet will be the same as before and it can actually turn out to be worse than what the original diet was again (I can tell you from experience, I went to Europe and gained 4 kilos in 4 weeks), so it's a simple matter of keeping yourself in check. Once you start to go back to the original pants size you were, that's a warning sign. Another one is people telling you to watch yourself because you're getting a stomach again. A diet can't work unless it's from your own free will but that right there means you're about to get ugly and about to have a lot of health complications again and you can't have that, now, can you? Because you lost weight and you're a winner and you'll be damned if you turn to a ball of fat again.

You can still stop it.
              Kick the fatness in the face. Reduce calories. Eat well. Don't eat too much of what's good for you either. If you get 2,000 calories of salad it's still 2,000 calories. Watch if you've been using more butter, or spread, or whatever. Portions, frequencies, all the small things that you changed when you lost weight can screw you into being fat again, calories are a double-edged knife.

So yeah, stop eating, live longer.